In most conflicts, it is definitely a good idea to try to solve it immediately before it gets out of control. In some cases though, it is better to include a neutral analyst (aka mediator or an arbitrator) if the conflict is too much to handle or it has escalated. When a neutral third party intervenes, it is much easier for them to analyze the real problem and come up with the best solution without taking any sides. The analyst must certainly gain each parties trust so they can confide in him or her to make the right decision for such parties. I believe that if there is no trust, it is hard to follow another person's adives.
In my experience in the classroom, most parents follow my advise towards the middle of the school year in regards to special referrals to meet their child's special need when they see that I truly care for their child and they trust that it is in the best interest of the child. It is hopeless to even bring up the topic sooner because they usually object to it. I learned that the hard way when a referred a child during the second week of school because it was obvious that the child definitely needed more one-on-one assistance. The parent got very defensive and accused me of discriminating against her child because I had not given him enough time to adjust.
I had to respect her decision and by the end of the year she realized that I was right and wanted me to put in a referral but it was too late. We had one month left and it usually takes about 60 days to get such services. My lesson for that year: Gain parent's trust, and allow at least a month and if possible get a neutral third party analyst.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I agree, when there is a conflict I find the best method is to wait about 5 minutes before trying to resolve the issue. This method stops conflicts from escalating and creates a cooling off period. I find a lot of conflicts are fear based and if you are able to find your fear part a truth will appear and the conflict will be over.
Post a Comment