Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Effective Conflict Resolution Starts in the Preschool Years

In Cho's writing, he said "Teach me how to speak, teach me how to share, teach me where to go, tell me will love be there" (LA Times Magazine, 4/30/07, p 41).

Children need guidance from all the adults in their lives. In order for them to learn how to speak,share, and solve conflicts without resorting to verbal or physical violence, we have to serve as their positive role models.

For example, when a child hits another child, the adult needs to approach both children in a calm manner. Many of the children's behaviors are learned behaviors from home, media, and peers. When no one teaches them how to solve conflicts in a positive way, they grow up thinking that violence is the only way to solve problems.

The best strategies to solve conflict resolutions and violence prevention is to listen without taking any sides. For example, when my preschool students are fighting over a toy, I calmly approach them and become the mediator. Instead of scolding and punishing, I acknowledge the hurt child as well as the aggressor. I listen to both sides of the story, and then I restate what each child says and guide them to solve the problem by asking questions that will lead to an agreement on both sides of the parties. It takes time, but it works. Most of these young children have learned to solve most of their problems without adult assistance. If they are not successful on their own, they know they can always seek an adult for assistance.

As parents, teachers, and members of society, we need to pay more attention to all children. They need adult guidance and intervention so they can learn how to become positive members of our society. Let's not wait for another tragedy to happen.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You highlight some valid points in this post. Adults seem to be so concerned with the violence in music, in video games, and on TV. I agree that that violence has become more prominent in today's media but it's not the main contributing factor in increasing levels of violence displayed in today's youth. The problem is the lack of parenting and adult involvement in children's lives. In essence, music, television, and video games are doing the parenting for many adults that are irresponsibly absent from their role as a parent. This is the highest contributing factor in increasingly violent youth behavior. Perhaps if adults spent more of their time with actual children, and less time condemning the media, they could begin to focus on and do something about the problem. It's encouraging that early childhood professionals such as yourself are attempting to incorporate positive conflict resolution into their supervision methods. Keep up the good work!